Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Take Out a Shit of Paper

Isn't that title funny? My Spanish teacher said that to some fourth graders a few years ago. She is originally from France and she couldn't quite grasp the pronunciation, so a sheet came out as a shit. This made my day. I don't know, I just thought that was really funny at the time. Maybe just the fact she said it in front of 4th Graders?

Okay my friends, I spent today sort of floating around. You know that hazy feeling? I was just not all there today. I mean I was there, but I was in the corners of my brain. The corners of my brain tend to be a dangerous place, because I can spend daaaaaaaaaayyyyysssss there. So when I went there today, here is what I found:

Last week I read this David Sedaris story (If you don't know who David Sedaris is you are a total waste of human life. I'm sorry, but you can go crawl back into the depths of hell from which you emerged.) and in this particular story he talked about his day dreams and all the things he thinks about. Well, when I recalled this story, I began to think back to all the day dreams I have. I usually have like, seventeen running all at the same time but that's definitely the best part.

So I thought back to my favorite day dream. This day dream is so special to me, it has its very own iTunes playlist.

The Dream:
I'm on this cross country road trip. I'm coming from Yale University (for some reason...) to go to California. I don't ever know where in California, just this big arm-shaped mass with a giant "CA" printed on it. Anyway, I stop in the middle of the night on this quiet road in the middle of some New Mexican desert. I'm driving this red convertible and I just pull over. This Death Cab for Cutie song "Passenger Seat" is playing, but not from my stereo, it's just blasting from nowhere.
I get out of the car and just lay down on the hood of my car and look up. And I can see all these stars, everywhere. Splattered across the whole sky. I'm the only one there and its so quiet, and even my awkward and clumsy movements are muffled. I'm totally, for lack of a better or more descriptive word, free. Free from all this sticky, oozing boredom I seemed to be so eternally trapped in. Not in some freaky-emo-I'm-better-than-everyone-else way. Rather in this sort of I'm bored-because-I-aspire-to-do-so-much-more-and-this-is-so-not-it kind of way. Think Jack Kerouac.

And that's it. That's the whole dream.

Of course, I float from dream to dream. In some of them, I'm a CIA agent cutting of Venezuelan Mafia member's limbs while speaking flawless Spanish, others I'm battling cancer. In some I'm getting married, in others I'm a pregnant teenager. Or in most cases, I'm just thinking about the situation I'm in at the moment. How lucky, or unlucky I am or I'm forming some sort of calculated insult or comeback. It all depends. But I always (apparently) make the same face when I start fading. My eyes get glossy, and I close my mouth (rare as it it), and I tilt my head slightly. But not quite as dramatically as J.D. in Scrubs.

This is coming directly from the mouths of my friends (Amanda). I've never seen this face, and have a hard time believing it actually exists.

I don't know. I like the brain a lot, and it tends to be my companion on most of my cross country trips or cancer battles or it's sitting in the first row at my wedding.

This post was a little bit more thoughtful than the others, and I apologize if some of you were less amused. I just thought about this today and wanted to post it.

"Take your time coming home.
Hear the wheels as they roll.
Let your lungs fill up with smoke.
Forgive everyone.

She is here and now she is gone.
We had plans, we can't help but make love.

It's a beautiful thing when you love somebody,
And I love somebody.
Yeah I love somebody"
--Fun (the band)


  1. This is amazing! I could relate to it, and it was written very well.

  2. frick matty. youve just earned a spot on my Beautiful People Who I Want To Be/Meet/Drool All Over list.

  3. fun fun fun fun
    you inspire me
    it made me happy that you included both JD and David Sedaris in this, it makes it worthy of my time :)
    hehe I'll live, you're worth it.
    and Ruthie? Am I on that list too? Because I want to be...